Loss...and Found

The church I attend is part of a 4 church parish. We have a pastor and an associate pastor. My church is the largest in the parish and the pastors divide the services and on all but the last Sunday of the month, we have the senior pastor. Sunday, being the last of the month, means that we had the associate Pastor. She is truly fulfilling her calling. She never fails to move me - to tears usually. Sunday she was talking about praising God through pain and loss. She asked the question - could you? She said that she wasn't sure she could. That started me thinking - sometimes a dangerous thing.

The first loss that I remember that impacted me the most was my Great-Aunt Nellie. She was my maternal grandmother's younger sister. I was in Jr. High and to me she had always been a glamorous woman. She always wore make-up and nice clothes and when I was little I thought she must be a movie star. That was in 1960.

In June 1968, when my daughter was just 3 months old, we lost my paternal grandfather. He was an ornery old guy and loved to tease all of his grandchildren but the person he loved to tease the most was my grandmother. She would get so aggravated with him.

In June 1970, we lost my maternal grandfather. He was a quiet man but very loving. One of the things I remember best about him was his love of reading. When I was old enough, I was allowed to borrow books from him. He grew up on a farm and his family raised horses but his father died young in an accident and the family struggled after that and finally lost the farm.

In November 1973, we lost my paternal grandmother. She loved the outdoors and would rather hunt and fish than be inside. She was a good cook; raised three boys and two girls - they lost a girl at birth; and when she was younger had beautiful auburn hair. My dad got his red hair from her and I got mine from him. I also have several cousins with red hair.

In October 1974 we lost my father, he was 59 years old. He had been dealing with some health problems for a couple of years but we thought he was doing okay. He was a kind man with a beautiful smile and he loved my mother and his three girls very much.

In November 1975 we lost my maternal grandmother. She was a fantastic cook; liked to do crossword puzzles; collected dolls; and when I would stay with them when I was younger she would play card games with me.

In October 1976 we lost my youngest sister, Sharon. She was artistic and funny, had my Dad's wonderful smile, was in the Navy and studying to become an engineer when it was discovered she had cancer. She was 24 years old and I had trouble accepting her death.

In October of 1977 my mother's pastor, who had helped the family through the four previous deaths, dropped dead in the Church office. He was a kind man and had spent a lot of time with my sister before she died.

In January of 2005 my sister Linda died. She was 54 years old and had been battling cancer. Linda was very loving, a great friend, very organized and a wonderful Mother to her two children.

In December of 2006, the day after my 60th birthday, my Mother died. She was a wonderful woman, sweet and loving and kind. Everyone has always told me that even though I have my Dad's coloring(red hair and blue eyes) that I look like my Mother. I always thought she was beautiful so that was a wonderful compliment to me. She was a great cook and wonderful mother.

Over the years I have also lost aunts and uncles and a couple of cousins. You can see that I know what loss is all about! To the best of my knowledge they all had faith in God and the assurance that a better life awaited them and they would all be reunited. That is a great comfort to me.

But back to the sermon on Sunday and my thinking. I know that you can suffer great loss and in that loss still praise God because in the loss I have suffered I have felt God's presence and comfort and when you feel him near you can't help but praise him.